A New Direction

I’ve struggled for many years to decide exactly what it is I wanted to do with my music. I never set out to be a music artist. I never set out to write or produce songs. The truth is that music was something that came to me. She begged me to play with her. She seduced me you could say. I wasn’t looking for her. I was/am a writer first. A poet you could say, if you apply that definition a bit loosely. As a matter of personal survival, I learned to translate feelings into words. Eventually those feelings did not have words, and so I learned to translate them into sounds. 

Existential angst is something I am intimately entwined with. Love in particular has been a rather elusive thing. The turmoil and despair, the colossal disappointments, and of course the fleeting magic all take up an enormous amount of space in my mind. The only way that I have found to stop them from torturing me endlessly is to write about them. I’ve hesitated to go full force into this world. I had fears that I would be pigeon holed as a hot depressive mess. The truth is that perhaps that is exactly what I am. I don’t write happy party songs. I write love songs. Deep and soul stirring pieces of the rawness of opening your heart and the calamity that often follows. 

They say write about what you know, and I know about heartache. I know about unrequited love. I know about the seemingly endless search for “the one”. I also know about God and I know about the unseen world. I know the secrets of the universe and I know about the erotic nature of all of these. I hope to write more about the latter in the future. That too gives me trepidation. People don’t seem to be ready for the real depth of eroticism. They’d prefer it reduced to a cheap romp of masturbating with each other’s bodies in an empty pile of flesh after a drunken Saturday night. That is not why I came here. 

My perspectives are dark and deep. I dare to tread into the places within the human experience that most want desperately to forget about. I can’t help it. I find them seductive and delicious. Most of all they seem to be what I am made of. A dark goddess. A black angel here to teach you what others will not. To show you that the dark places inside of your heart are not there by accident and they are not your downfall. They are beautiful and so are you. 

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